


This Guy’s in Love With You

by crescentim



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Avengers Endgame, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending?, Love, M/M, Marvel Universe, Old Age, Peggy is really only mentioned, Sad ending?, Time Travel, not really spoilers but also spoilers, takes place during and after the end of endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 18:35:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18643792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentim/pseuds/crescentim
Summary: 'Cause I need your love, I want your loveSay you're in love and you'll be my guyWhere Bucky tries to keep Steve in the present but he still goes back to live a different life





	This Guy’s in Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Alyssa for keeping me up all night with the idea to write this. I wrote it in about 2-3 hours so sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. 
> 
> Title is from the song “This Guy’s In Love With You” here’s the link! you should listen to while you read: [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8ByJ1C0iR4)

“It doesn’t have to be you, ya know?” Bucky followed Steve from their bedroom into the kitchen, his voice louder than it needed to be. 

“Yes it does, Bucky. Nobody else is in a place to do this right now.” Steve let out an angry sigh. 

“What the hell does that even mean? You act like you’re not hurting too, but I know that you are. I can see it. Send someone else or wait a while long-“

“We can’t just wait longer.” Steven raised his voice at this and it took Bucky a bit by shock. Steve raised his hand before putting it back down, leaning on the small table in their dining room. “If we don’t get the stones back to when we got them, the timelines are gonna be all sorts of fucked up and you know that.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “If you’re going back anyway what difference does it make if you go now versus in a week or something? You need time to grieve, Steve.”

“I just need to do this,” Steve muttered as he shook his head.

Bucky didn’t say anything again for a moment, his breaths were shallow and shaky. He knew what Steve really had in mind. He wasn’t an idiot, he had spent long enough with him that he could see what he wasn’t saying. And it angered him. Was Bucky not good enough? A temporary replacement now that Steve realized he could go back?

After a deep breath he voiced his thoughts. “I know why you want to do this.”

Steve didn’t move. 

“I know it’s because of her. I know you want to stay for her.” Bucky’s voice shook, threatening to break.

The silence in the air felt like static and it pricked at his skin like needles. 

“Look at me, Steve.”

He didn’t. 

“Fucking look at me,” this time his voice was louder, nearly shouting. 

Steve shook his head lazily but kept his gaze down.

Bucky slammed his fist on the table, wood cracking slightly under the force of metal.

“JUST SAY YOU DONT WANT TO FUCKING BE HERE WITH ME. DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME OR TRY TO COVER THE TRUTH. IM NOT SOME FRAGILE PERSON!” He couldn’t control the volume of his voice or the way a sob broke through. 

This got Steve to look up though, hurt in his eyes. “Don’t say that.”

“What? That you don’t want to be with me? I just said it’s okay to tell the truth. I know I’m just some throw-away now that you can go back to Peggy.” His nose stung as his eyes began to water.

He watched Steve wipe at his own face. “You’re not a.. throw-away. I’m not leaving you behind-“

“Sure fucking feels like that. And I don’t fucking care. Go live your life the way you want to.” A lie. He did care, he cared far too much for his own good. 

The younger man stood up straight, but his posture was soft. “Bucky… please-“

“I’m going for a run.” He wasn’t even in the right clothes for it, heavy shoes by the door and full pants on.

“Bucky, it’s 2 am,” Steve pleaded. 

The older glanced at the clock on the wall. He was right, it was probably too late for a run, but he needed to get out.

“I’m going on a fucking run.”

He grabbed his boots from next to the door and slammed it behind him before he could be stopped. He walked down the street with his shoes still in hand, ignoring the rough pavement beneath his feet and the way his eyes stung. He wasn’t going to cry. Not over this, not over something he should have been expecting ever since Steve told the story of how they went back in time. How he saw Peggy. He might not have said anything but Bucky could hear how his voice changed when he mentioned Peggy. He could see the way his eyes softened at the memory. Bucky knew since then that Steve wanted to go back. And if he could go back, there was no promise he would come back to a life without her. 

Bucky threw his boots down next to some car and picked up his pace. He didn’t care for how uncomfortable it was to run in his socks, he just needed to clear his head. Get away from his thoughts for even a moment. 

And so he ran. 

 

It was nearly an hour later when he started making his way home. He had left his phone behind so he didn’t have any texts nagging him, but he knew he should get back. 

His head was a bit more clear, despite still being suffocated with the thoughts of Peggy, Peggy, Peggy. He was hoping he was calm enough to listen to Steve now, hoping Steve was calm enough to explain himself.

As he neared the small house they shared, he saw a light still on in the living room. Steve was still awake. But he also heard a song. Their song. It was near the end and Bucky would bet his arm that Steve had been playing the song on repeat for a while now. Almost like a beacon to get Bucky to come home. 

It worked well as Bucky picked up his discarded shoes and walked up the creaky wooden steps, gently pushing open the front door. 

The volume of the music decreased as he stepped inside, hesitating behind the door. 

“Buck..”

His heart ached at the way Steve sounded. The music paused for a moment before it picked up again, the gentle jazz coaxing him further inside. 

He set his shoes down and closed the door, turning to look Steve in the eyes as he sat beside an old record player. His eyes were red and his face slightly spotted; he had been crying. Bucky had been too and he knew he looked like it as well. His nose red and sore from how much he wiped at it on his run. 

Steve cautiously stood up from his chair as the song neared the end. A trumpet faded out and Steve adjusted the tone arm so the song would restart. They looked each other in the eyes as the piano began. Bucky took shaky breaths again as the lyrics started. 

_You see this guy,_

He wiped tears from his eyes, despite the way his cheeks were rubbed raw at this point. 

_This guy's in love with you_.

Steve extended an arm as a tear rolled down his cheek. A sad “do you forgive me?” smile on his face. 

_Yes, I'm in love_

Bucky quickly crossed the room, ignoring the arm that was being held out and wrapping his arms around Steve instead. 

_Who looks at you the way I do._

His hug was returned as Steve wrapped his arms around him as well. Their bodies shaking together as they both cried again. 

_When you smile I can tell we know each other very well._

The two gently swayed with the music. Nothing more seeming to matter, their argument tossed in the air and dissipating like mist.

“ _How can I show you I'm glad? I got to know you_ ,” Steve sang these words in Bucky’s ears, his voice trembling low but soft. 

They cried in each other’s arms, gripping onto their clothes as if they were a moment away from being separated forever. Sure, that might be what their future held, but that wasn’t on their minds right now. Now was about this moment and the memories this song held. 

This song that they would play when they knew the other was upset but neither had words to say. This song that they played their first night together. This song that they would play for each other nearly every day until they got separated and nearly every day after they found each other again. 

The buildup to the chorus began and they cried harder. 

“ _I need your love_ ,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s shoulder, eyes squeezed shut and hands balled in his shirt. “ _I want your love_.”

Steve skipped lyrics and changed them as he responded, gently patting down Bucky’s hair. “I’ll always be your guy.”

They danced until the end of the song and even after. Swaying in each other’s arms, ignoring the world and staying in their bubble. The two of them against the world, that’s what this song signified. It was always the two of them versus the world. Always has been, always will be. And for now, that was enough for Bucky. 

 

 

It was a week later, a week since Bucky last saw Steve. Since he stepped onto the platform and waved his last goodbye with tears in his eyes. A week since he sent a kiss goodbye and mouthed “you’ll be my guy”. Nobody else knew his plan, they were all worried when he didn’t come back when he was meant to. Bucky told them not to wait. He didn’t say anything else, even as everyone questioned what the hell he meant by that. He just turned around and went home. 

And that’s where he still was. He kept his same routine from before Steve left, but this time alone. Waking up to a cold bed, making a breakfast for one, running by himself in the early mornings. It wasn’t any easier, and he wasn’t sure if it would ever be, but he needed the routine or he would fall to pieces. 

Today he ran earlier than usual. The mist was still settled on the ground, dew huggin the grass and wetting his sneakers. But he paid no attention to it. The cold air snuck it’s way through his jacket and seeped into his skin but Bucky didn’t care for it. He just wanted to run until his legs were numb and the only thing on his mind was the way the ground felt under his feet. 

Running was one of his only escapes right now and he wouldn’t let anything take that from him so he ran. He didn’t care much for a warmup, he just wanted to get going. It helped him feel like he could outrun the past, both most recent and his past from decades ago. He could escape the holes in the tapestry of his life, even if it were just for a few hours. He needed this escape. 

His breath was still steady even after sprinting for nearly half an hour. He didn’t feel tired as he passed the lake he used to spend days at with Steve, he didn’t feel tired the second time he passed it either, or the third. It was times like this that Bucky hated how different he was. He just wanted his legs to be in pain from running for so long, something to take his mind off everything. But instead he breathed the cold air into his frozen lungs and kept moving forward. 

It wasn’t until two hours later that he stopped. His chest tight but not from the exercise. It was the same feeling he had at night when he lay in an empty bed, wishing for the warmth of another body next to him. It was the same feeling he had when he accidentally made too much coffee or when he put out an extra outfit. The feeling right before a sob tore through his body and he broke down with tears so heavy in his eyes he couldn’t see. 

His feet slowed on the pavement and he found himself mindlessly walking towards a bench on the other side of the lake. Our bench, he thought. And that pained him more than he wished it did. 

Birds chirped at him as he passed by, the morning beginning to warm up and the sun kissing the sky. It was a beautiful sunrise but it brought no joy to him. He just wanted time to stay still for a moment. He wanted to be able to breathe. 

As Bucky got closer to the end of the lake where their bench was, he noticed a figure sitting on it. He knew it wasn’t only their bench, but it still lit a small flame of anger in him. Could he not have this one thing? Did the universe really want to taunt him this cruelly?

The light of the rising sun shone gently on the person, an older man, Bucky now realized. He seemed at peace and for that Bucky was envious. He wished for that feeling back. 

He stood under a tree near the bench, hands in his pockets as his eyes went between the still water and the stranger sitting. He was sure the man wouldn’t stay long, he could wait for him to leave. 

So he crouched down, weaving the long grass between his fingers as he tucked his legs beneath him. He didn’t like not moving, it gave him too much time to think. But maybe it was what he needed, so he let memories waltz their way into his head. They were painful, but beautiful in the way they hurt. He wiped the beginning of tears from his eyes, he didn’t want to cry before the sun was fully up. 

He spent a long time under that tree, watching the shadows dance on the grass. He looked to his left and noticed the old man still sitting there, still looking peaceful and gently smiling into the sun. The man didn’t seem like he had any intentions to leave as he fumbled with his coat, so Bucky decided it was his time to go. He could always come back. Maybe. But maybe he should start letting go. 

He stood up, muttering to himself as he realized how wet his pants had gotten. It wasn’t a far walk back to their house - his house - though so he didn’t mind. He put his hands in his pockets once again and walked by the man on the bench. 

“You see this guy..”

Bucky froze at the words. The tune. One he knew all too well. 

“This guy’s in love with you..”

He clenched his fists and fought back the tears in his eyes. There was no way this was the song he thought it was. The universe really did hate him. Fucking sadist he thought. 

He stood still, just a few feet from the end of the bench opposite of the old man. His shoulders slouched forward and bent. 

“Yes, I’m in love, Bucky.”

Bucky spun angrily at that. His cheeks in the beginning stages of being stained with tears. Who the hell was this old man to use his name, his song?

“What the fuck do you want,” he shouted. 

The only man chuckled, his thin shoulders shaking with the sound. He shifted in his seat before turning to look at Bucky, and oh god Bucky could recognize those eyes anywhere. 

He took a hesitant step forward, resting his hand on the back of the bench. “S-Steve?”

The only man’s eyes crinkled with a smile. “I could never fool you very well, could I?”

Bucky barely sat on the bench, barely moving as if in fear that too sudden of a movement would send Steve off like he were nothing more than dust in the wind. Bucky couldn’t lose him again. 

“Is that really you?” He asked quietly. 

Steve laughed once again. “Yes, it’s really me. Can’t recognize a handsome face when you see one?” The wrinkles in his face set deeper as he smiled at his own joke. 

Bucky wiped at his eyes and shook his head. “I can tell your eyes apart from anyone’s.”

Steve adjusted himself again, looking back at the lake. He gently patted the space next to him and Bucky hesitated before moving closer. 

They weren’t really near each other yet, Bucky’s mind unable to believe this was real. 

“How did you know I would be here?” He asked as he joined Steve’s gaze over the lake. 

“We always ran by here,” he stole a glance at Bucky before continuing. “If I’m honest, I’ve been coming here for a while but I always seem to miss you, seems to have gotten more difficult to wake up early the older I’ve gotten. But I’m glad I caught you on this day.”

Bucky nodded his head, moving slightly closer. “I am too… I’ve missed you, ya know?”

Steve smiled softly. “You think I haven’t missed you? I’ve spent everyday of my life thinking about you. Hoping you’re doing well. Are you doing well?”

His voice was aged but still held the same tenderness it had always had. 

Bucky nodded. “I’m doing the best I can.. what about you? How have you been holding up, old man?”

Steve shook his head at that but held his smile. “I’ve been good. Lived life how I felt I should have,” that hurt Bucky more than it should have, “I’ve made mistakes and I learned from them. Sometimes I didn’t if I’m honest by even that you can learn something from.

“I was reckless when I was young and less so when I aged. And now I’m here, feeling young again. So I would say life has treated me as well as I’ve treated it.”

Bucky nodded, unsure of what to really say. He glanced down at the wedding band on Steve’s finger. He wasn’t sure if Peggy had passed or was still alive, but he couldn’t help wishing that band was for him. That Steve had stayed here with him and that they could grow old together. That they could sit together at this bench until they were both too grey and wrinkled to move. 

He knew it was selfish but that’s what love was, wasn’t it? Selfish?

“Do you want to talk about her?” He asked, trying to casually bring Peggy up.

From the corner of his eye he saw Steve look down and his hand and back up, a soft smile on his face. “Not really. Not now, at least”

Bucky nodded his head, heart lighter from that. He didn’t push him to talk, he didn’t need to know just yet. 

Moments passed in silence before Bucky hesitantly took Steve’s hand - old, wrinkled, and dotted with proof of age but no less soft than they had been when he was young. He felt the wedding band against his hand but now wasn’t the time to think about that. 

Steve weakly squeezed his hand, looking over at him with the same fondness in his eyes that Bucky had seen only a week before. His eyes were glossy with age and tears, a smile on his face that reflected the one on Bucky’s. The smile you get when you finally see someone you love after so long apart. 

He moved closer to Steve, letting the now-older rest his head on his shoulder. They sat there, hand in hand, breaths together, and watched as the sun rose, painting the sky oranges and pinks until it was a pale blue. 

And as they sat comfortable in silence, despite all the years that had passed without him, Bucky didn’t feel one bit less loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! This lowkey ruined me so lemme known if it hurt you too hehe
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/strawberryukhei)  
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